Trash Wars

It just came to my attention that their is an island of plastic twice the size of Texas floating through the Pacific.

…?

Good takes this opportunity to point out that we use too many plastic bags.  A legitimate point (really, if war-time patriotism meant anything, wouldn’t it mean lowering one’s consumption of useless petroleum products?), but via Greenpeace comes this disturbing video that shows how ocean currents concentrate trash in a specific are of the Pacific.  It also shows a major national security threat heretofore unaddressed: Russia’s secret trash delivery system.

By simply dumping it into their coastal waters, Russia can deliver garbage all the way the United States with no energy cost.  This reveals a clear communist bias on the part of the Pacific Ocean.  In this post-9/11 world, one has to wonder if the plastic bag island was not a test of this new weapon delivery system; a warning shot across Uncle Sam’s bow (read: the boat word, not the ribbon word.  Your uncle is not a transvestite.)

Next time their could be a nuclear weapon on that island.  Or a new strain of gooey bacteria.  Or large packs of rabid dogs.  Or thousands of immigrants yearning to one day force us to “press two for English” as they prattle on in their Slavic languages.

This aggression will not stand.

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